Your ceremony is the most important element of your wedding day. It reflects the foundations of your married life. Share the story of your love.

The process begins with a no obligation discussion of your thoughts about your ceremony. Some ideas to include are - your own beliefs and values, honouring your parents or other important people in your lives, use your own readings, poetry, dedications, having family members and close friends join in with poetry, readings and song, have live musicians play and sing or use your favourite recorded music. You can say what you feel about your relationship and your marriage. Make a dvd of important moments in your lives and play it during the signing of the marriage certificates. You are welcome to make a selection from my extensive collection of poems, prose and philosophy. I will draft a ceremony for your approval, or you can design your own ceremony and I'm happy to assist if required.

Start by writing down the answers to the following questions - you will probably think of other questions as the ceremony develops. How do you, as a couple, define the following terms? Love: Trust: Marriage: Family: Commitment: Togetherness: Community:

• How did the two of you first meet?
  
• What was the first thing you noticed about your loved one?
  
• List any shared hobbies or other mutual interests you have.
  
• List any individual pursuit that has been enhanced by your relationship.
  
• What is the single most important event in your relationship? (Or what was the event that you feel says the most about your development as a couple?)
  
• How similar (or different) were your respective childhoods? Try to recount some of the important parallels or differences here.
  
• Is there a song, poem or book that has particular meaning in your relationship?
  
• Do you share common traditions?
  
• How do you look at personal growth and change?
  
• What aspects of your life together are likely to change over the coming years?
  
• How do you anticipate dealing with those changes?
  
• How important is mutual respect and tolerance in your relationship?
  
• When one of you feels that a particular need is being overlooked, what do you feel is the best way to address this problem with the other person?
  
• Do you have a common vision for your life together as older people? Will it include children or grandchildren? What will it be like to grow old together?
  
• Do you share a common vision for your community, your country, the world?
  

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